What is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria?
Living with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) can be challenging, especially for autistics and ADHDers. RSD is a condition where individuals experience intense emotional pain due to perceived or actual rejection. This can make everyday interactions feel overwhelming. However, understanding RSD can help you manage it better and improve your quality of life.
This of course, is the third of our free workshop series discussing topics of interest to adult autistics/audhders in our growing online 🫂community. Here’s the recap of our roundtable discussion this week. 👇🏽
First, let’s talk about what RSD is and isn’t. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is not just about feeling sad when someone rejects you. Instead, it involves extreme emotional reactions that can be debilitating. For autistics and ADHDers, this can mean feeling intense shame, anger, or sadness even from minor criticisms or social slights.
The Role of the Amygdala in Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
So, why does this happen? The amygdala, a part of the brain that controls emotional responses, plays a significant role. In ADHD and autistic brains, the amygdala is more reactive to environmental stimuli. This heightened reactivity can lead to hypervigilance, where you are always on the lookout for threats. Consequently, this makes it hard to stay calm and think clearly when you feel rejected. Of course, we bring our pasts into the present and it’s not uncommon that these pasts contain a good amount of corrective measures from parents, educators and peers. The desire to connect and fit in is pretty strong as well as the sense that you’re not doing the best job in making that happen.
Emotional Intensity
Significantly, emotional intensity is a pretty common trait for autistics and ADHDers. So RSD is part of that experience of emotional flooding and overwhelm. This means that managing emotions can be difficult, leading to overreactions in certain situations. For example, a simple disagreement with a friend might feel like a personal attack, causing you to withdraw or lash out. If we didn’t learn great relational skills growing up, we might not even know how to repair these relationships after such fall outs. We may have even witnessed this behavior in our families.
Have you seen this? 👇
📍Please join us in our next ADHD/Autism roundtable which will be addressing “Motivation and Procrastination” scheduled for December 31, 2024 at 9:30 am PST.
📍 Check out the recap on our podcast “Keeping Company” on Spotify. (Or wherever you get your local podcast)! Which I hope includes right here. Comments, voting & sharing are all appreciated.
Coping Strategies for Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
However, there are ways to cope with RSD. One effective strategy is practicing self-compassion. When you feel shame or rejection, try to treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s okay to feel upset. This can help reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions.How Self-Compassion Can Counteract Shame
Shame is really about our relationship with ourselves. We might think about rejection in terms of something that happens with other people. Shame sets in when we reject ourselves. Self-compassion counteracts shame by allowing individuals to treat themselves with kindness and understanding rather than self-criticism. When experiencing shame, self-compassion helps by:🌿Recognizing Common Humanity
Understanding that everyone makes mistakes and experiences difficulties can reduce feelings of isolation and self-judgment. Admittedly, that’s easier said than done and takes practice. It can also be learned by being around those who can model this behavior.
🌿Mindfulness
Being mindful of one’s emotions without over-identifying with them helps in acknowledging and accepting feelings of shame without letting them define one’s self-worth. Mindfulness practice involves paying attention to your emotions without letting them control you. When you notice feelings of rejection, take a moment to breathe and acknowledge them. This can help you stay grounded and prevent your emotions from spiraling out of control.
🌿Self-Kindness
Offering oneself the same kindness and care that one would offer a friend in a similar situation helps in mitigating harsh self-criticism and promotes emotional healing. We can do this by first noticing how we talk to ourselves and asking, would we talk to another this way? Practicing slowing down can help foster this kind of relationship with oneself.
Other Strategies for Coping
✔ Build a Support Network Another helpful approach is to build a support network. Surround yourself with people who understand and accept you. Having friends and family who can offer reassurance and perspective can make a big difference. They can help you see that not every social interaction is a judgment on your worth. Watch this space as we are hoping to bring you ongoing community after the free workshop series concludes. Sometimes if you don’t have friends and family, you need to build from the ground up. It’s never too late!✔Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking professional help. Therapists and coaches who specialize in autism and ADHD can offer tailored strategies to manage RSD. They can teach you coping skills and provide a safe space to explore your feelings.
Conclusion: Managing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
So, living with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria can be tough, but it is manageable. By understanding the condition and using strategies like self-compassion, mindfulness, and seeking support, you can improve your emotional well-being. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate this journey. ."Emotional sensitivity is an inherent part of Autism and also ADHD. We notice nuances of experience. We do it really well. Now we just have to figure out what to do with that."
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Remember, we do not exist for others’ curiosity, enlightenment, or virtue signaling. Our next workshops will discuss motivation, overspending, and emotional contagion. Join us as we explore these topics and continue to support each other in our journey.
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📍If you are newly diagnosed ADHD, or Autistic, or AuDHD, a parent seeking guidance for your ADHD/Autistic child, I provide consultation and as needed strategic support to help you understand ADHD/Autism in the way it’s experienced in everyday life vs a clinical assessment.
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